5 Signs Its Lust and Not Love

The initial stages of any attraction is  Lust. Its the liking towards the curves, body and the dream to sleep with the person which drives you into pursuing  the person  you are attracted to. You might think its love, but it’s actually Lust. Lust magnifies the  physical activity and does not take care of the emotional part of any relationship. And once the Lust wears of its shine, the relationship  also wears off.

“Lust is a mysterious wound in the side of humanity; or rather, at the very source of its life! To confound this lust in man with that desire which unites the sexes is like confusing a tumor with the very organ which it devours, a tumor whose very deformity horribly reproduces the shape. Georges Bernanos”

However real love is beyond all the physical attraction and the desire to mate. It is the emotional connection one finds with another person, the meeting of the heart, the willingness to do anything to make the other person happy.

So what are the key signs which  indicates that the relationship which you think is LOVE is actually LUST.

  1. You always dressed to impress your partner. Dressed impeccably, polished shoes, following the latest trends, and always looking to impress your partner with your fashion sense is a sure sign that the relationship you are in is Lustful. Women put on the perfect make up, wear clothes which highlight their body. Men are well groomed and in their best suit. The reason is that you don’t want your partner to see you otherwise. The relationship is superficial.


2. Find shortage of topics to talk about. When your mind is always focused on SEX, then you don’t have many topics to speak about.  There is no sharing of feelings, dreams and the problems you are facing. In fact you are uncomfortable sharing this with your partner. The relationship has not reached a point where sharing of feelings and thoughts are normal. When it comes to Love , the emotional connect is important. Lust is just a shallow relationship focused only one thing.




3. It does not accept imperfections. Lust magnifies  only the goodness in the person and disregards the imperfections in a person. Since you put the person you desire on a pedestal , you feel that person can do no wrong. However when you are truly in love, you accept the persons imperfections. You accept the fact that they can be wrong sometimes. Its this realization which makes love blossom. You don’t care about the physical relationship, but what lies inside the person beyond the appearance.  That is what True love is. Otherwise it is Lust

4. Majority of Your time together is spent on making love.  Since there is very less conversation time, most of the time is spent on being physically intimate.All the activities you do end up in only one thing , i.e. Sex. Most of the time in such kind of relationship Sex is the only way they expressed their feelings. Most the memories of your relationship don’t go beyond your bedroom. That’s the place you spend most of the time.  You don’t go on dates or any public space.

5. No plans for future. In a lustful relationship you will tell the person how beautiful  they are, but when it comes to commitment, you are tight lipped. You have not thought about the future—Kids, House, Sharing money.

The fact remains that  a relationship based on Lust has a very short shelf life. Once the physical aspect wears out and the bed is broken , the relationship is also broken.

Published by

swamiaatma

A 48 Year old enjoying life and its realizations. Away from Futile pursuit of happiness as per social norms and creating inner peace and happiness

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